Envy: The Emotion Kept Secret | Psychology Today

This was a great piece on Envy! The bottom line is, you cannot disguise it as something else. When you set up roadblocks for others, the truth is highly visible.

Envy has to do with feeling unhappy about the success of someone else, or about what they have and, at the same time, secretly feeling inferior yourself. Instead of finding success for yourself or improving yourself, you may be envious and want what another person has or find yourself wishing that the other person would lose that quality or possession in order to make things seem fair.  If you are envious of someone you may want to put them down, as though this will raise you up or lower everyone else’s opinion of them. But it just doesn’t work! Instead you may want to consider that you are feeling inferior or not good enough yourself. We really can’t know what another person’s life is like, but an envious person just assumes that the other person is happier or better. So in a strange way, when you envy someone else, you are giving them a compliment. But it’s a compliment that can harm you and how you feel about yourself.

Read the entire article hereEnvy: The Emotion Kept Secret | Psychology Today

Fundamentals of Bliss: 5 Amazing Ways to Love Yourself

I was talking with a friend recently who was a bit depressed. The gloom and doom had begun to overtake her and Lord knows, I’ve been there and done that! Oddly, I decided not to give any advice that day: No words of wisdom, no “What momma used to say”-isms, nor any kind of philosophical coping mechanisms gleaned from my illustrious Kindle Library. I simply asked one question.

“Food for thought: If you had to give a split-second answer to this question, what would it be? Do you love yourself?”

“No,” she said flatly. “No, I don’t.”

I still resisted the urge to advise.

I said simply, “That’s where it starts. That’s how you get out of the darkness.”


If you don’t already, loving yourself is the type of thing that has to come about gradually. It is a process. No one else can make you do it. You have to get tired of being tired! As I had hoped, a few moments later, my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was my friend, who didn’t want to talk, but could muster this text:
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You Won’t Believe His Racist Remarks!

Moms Article

Picture it: Murfreesboro (NC) 1982. A black woman and a diverse group of workers who were recently laid off from the Tylon Zipper plant (which had closed it’s doors for good), decided to open their own worker-owned plant. What that would have meant for them, was that employees could invest in their own business and all share in the decision-making processes.

Here’s an excerpt from an article written in The Journal of Southern Changes 1978-2003.

A few miles from the WOSCO plant in Windsor, North Carolina, a Talon zipper factory, located in Woodland, North Carolina, closed in February 1982, throwing over two hundred skilled workers into the depressed job market of Northampton County. Eight of these former employees are now trying to start a worker owned factory called United Zipper Company. At first, they approached Talon to discuss buying the closed plant or its equipment. Talon, fearing further competition, refused to talk. Rather than sell, company agents destroyed the zipper machinery and let it go for scrap.

According to one worker, Beulah Sharpe, the cost of building a plant and purchasing equipment will amount to $700,000. The city of Murfreesboro has applied for $325,000 from the North Carolina Small Cities Community Development Block Grant Program to be used for this purpose. The balance will come from other lending sources (remember this sentence). When the business begins, by late fall of 1982, there will be ten worker owners. Their plans project eventual growth to a workforce of thirty-seven.

“At Talon,” says Ms. Sharp(e), “we were never involved in making decisions. Now we have to learn how to make decisions for ourselves. We’ve made mistakes along the way, but we have learned from them.”

So, a few obstacles stood in their way. As stated above, the decision by the executives at Tylon to refuse to sell the old machines to the workers created a need for additional funding. The second blow was one that I hate to even speak about, and it did not make the article above. Now it is time to tell this part of the story.

One day, after crafting a plan B, the group of hopeful plant owners entered the Tarheel Bank and attempted to apply for a loan to supplement the funds needed to add to the monies acquired by the town of Murfreesboro to buy equipment to open the new plant. Beulah Sharpe handed the application to loan officer while the rest of the team looked on. The caucasian gentleman (We’ll call him Roy) barely touched the paperwork as if to avoid a chemical burn before he tossed it right back to her.

Perplexed, Beulah said, “But, you didn’t even look at…”

Before she could complete her sentence, Roy leaned back in his chair and uttered, “We don’t give loans to women and (n-word)s.”

That was my mother, sitting in that chair, totally chastened by that man’s racist, anti-feminist remarks. I would imagine that for a few sullen moments, she forgot that she was leading the way for others, both black and white,  to overcome economic disaster for their families. She forgot all of the hard work she and the others put into the research and community partnerships to make this thing happen. In that moment, all she was aware of was that aside from all else, she was a negro woman and single parent in the south. Nothing more.

Beulah Sharpe went into the Tarheel Bank that day with three strikes already against her already: She was not white, she was not married, and she was not a man. That was reason enough for the group to be turned away, empty-handed and defeated. I’d imagine she cried two buckets of tears afterwards. Rest assured that my mother didn’t pity herself. I remember this very vividly: they were tears of pain, and anger. She was essentially powerless, and felt very separate and unequal.

A child cannot bear to see his or her mother in pain. If you’ve ever witnessed it, I bet you can say you were hurting too. I was. I am.

Beulah quickly regained her footing and she found another cause to fight for. A close friend and supporter, Frank

Cindy Arnold and Beulah Sharpe, 1984

Cindy Arnold and Beulah Sharpe, 1984

Adams encouraged her to open a non-profit organization. In September of 1984, she and Cindy Arnold launched the Center for Women’s Economic Alternatives to teach financial literacy in the community. The Women’s Center is best known for their fight for justice on behalf of workers at the Perdue Farms Inc. in Lewiston, NC who had developed carpal tunnel syndrome due to poor working conditions.

My mother died less than a year later, and Cindy eventually left the area. Bernice “Liz” Sessoms led a team of hard-working women who essentially carried out Beulah’s dream. Due to a severe shortage in funding, the center shut down in 2002.

I have to give my mother credit. In spite of her experiences then, and years before, she always taught me NOT to see color. I was certainly aware that I had color, but that it should have no bearing on how I treat others as human beings.

Thanks to Cindy Arnold Humiston, Frank Adams, David Cecelski, and Katherine Charron for sharing this compelling story with me as it happened, and thank you more for NOT being color-blind!


Coaching Success Strategies in Education

wpid-2014-09-20-11.30.22.png.pngIn the immortal words of John “Hannibal” Smith, I love it when a plan comes together! This has been a great week of professional development, dialogue, and discovery for the teachers I serve. The Instructional Technology department decided to “flip” our PD sessions this year. So teachers are being exposed to our presentations early in Schoology. Lot’s of them came to the sessions already familiar with the content and were reeling with ideas.

What makes IT coaching even more fulfilling is when teachers implement tools and practices immediately, and reveal that they get immediate results from students. I’ve seen two teachers this week, transform their pedagogical practices from lecture/copy notes to flipped lessons/facilitate creativity. The looks on their faces are like light bulbs shining brightly!

What’s the key element that makes this happen? A two-sided mindset called coachability. Some teachers have already heard this story, however, it’s worth an encore.

I learned the importance of coachability when I was a senior on my high school basketball team. During our prior campaign, I led the team in scoring and rebounds. I was the team MVP, and the team captain. We had a different coach than the year before, and we were rebuilding. The season ended with us near the bottom of the conference with a 6-18 record. Still, I thought very highly of my 18 ppg average, and I went home that summer vowing to work hard on my ball handling to compliment my scoring ability. Continue reading

Digital Storytelling: Meaningful Technology in Third Grade

littlebirdtales.com cover image

By: Tyra Moore

  • Click to view my tale.
  • littlebirdtales.com logo
  • Are we sabotaging our children by classifying them as smart or not? Do we empower them to gain meaningful technology experiences? Elementary-aged children are quite different from the nearly adult students I’m used to. I had an opportunity to lead a STEM camp for rising third-graders last week, and I’m forever changed.


When the principal and my boss sat down with the media coordinator and I to talk about the camp, I had no idea how I was going to fair with primary kids. It turned out to be a beautiful adventure!

My first day at the camp began with a field trip to the local zoo. My trusty pal, the elementary instructional coach from my previous post was with me, and again on the following day. Thanks to her I was able to slow my brain down and show them effectively, how to create digital stories. The school media coordinator was there to save the day on the third day.

I was reading Mindset, written by Dr. Carol Dweck at the time. For three days, I was handling these children with care. The book forced me to be cognitively aware of the holistic features in each child.

These were my takeaways:

1. Third-graders like to hug – a lot.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like a rock star! After just a few moments of getting acquainted with my new little buddies, they began to approach me, one by one with open arms, smiles, and half grown-in front teeth. “What is this?” I wondered. Admittedly, I have a twelve-year-old who used to love to hug. Now I have to beg for them, but I do fondly remember that time. This was a bit different, and as the days went on, I began to expect them with glee. I believe hugging is their way of showing appreciation for learning.
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Anger Management for Dummies

Don’t Make Me Angry: You Wouldn’t Like Me When I’m Angry…

Have you ever seen my Incredible Hulk impression? Some people have and they think it’s a hoot! No, I don’t really turn green, or burst out of my clothes. There’s just this thing I do while adjusting the cervical vertebrae in my neck. I take a deep seething breath as I try to find a way to respond to the stimulus without losing my cool. My jaws flex, and anything I say for the next few moments, exits my mouth through my clenched teeth. At any rate, that’s my way of managing my anger, no irritability when I’m confronted with certain situations.  Continue reading

On Life After Losing Mom: 8 Things I’d Like Her To Know

This is about missing a parent, whose passing has left a huge void in your life. As the years go by, you do not  get over it, rather, you learn to live with it. No matter how young nor old, the hurt runs deep. There is never a way to prepare, albeit chronic illness, or sudden death. You must find ways to keep your mom or dad alive within your heart.

It always helps me to talk to my mother as if she were sitting next to me. I have to believe in my heart that she can see and hear me. Then I meditate over what I’ve said and imagine her response. Whatever you may do, I suggest you find what works best for you. There is no right and wrong way to grieve, and NEVER let anyone else tell you otherwise. Grief is a process, and you should be familiar with it.

This time, I am imagining that she is a techie like me. Therefore, I’m giving her a digital correspondence. Here goes.  Continue reading

We Dropped The Ball In “The ATL,” Now, Someone Just Pick It Up!

Courtesy of www.people.com

Kasim ReedThe Gist

The mayor of the city of Atlanta was fighting for his life this morning, after the city became paralyzed following the massive snow and ice storm, “Leon.” Hundreds of people spent the night stranded on freeways, at work, and in Home Depots (and who knows where else). A woman reportedly gave birth in a car, and more than two thousand children and  their teachers were stranded at school overnight.

Kasim Reed’s political life, that is, is suddenly in critical condition following an interview with CNN’s Carol Costello. During the segment, the mayor appeared to accept no responsibility for his part in the failure of the city to adequately prepare for the inclement weather.

Costello insisted that, “There are some people who say that those children should not have been placed in that position.” Extremely irritated by the probe from Costello he shot back that the Atlanta City Public Schools is responsible for making the call for all school closings, not him. It seems that all of the officials are throwing one another “under the bus.”

My Take

The media and citizens across the nation are appalled at the city, and state government officials, and their blame-shifting antics following the disaster. The CNN website is flooded with accounts of the misery there. When you clearly drop the ball, the best thing to do is pick it up, and accept responsibility! Then move forward.

At this point, who is to blame is the small issue. The bigger issue can be summed up in one question: “Now What!?” Really, there is no gear that the city can shift into as of noontime Wednesday, to erase the cold, hunger, fear, and danger from the minds of the people of Atlanta.

“Breaking news: Georgia State Gov. CLOSED…STAY HOME TOMORROW,” is currently posted in the blue bar on CNN as I write. I want so desperately to scream, “Ya think!?” I am not a government official. I never will be, but I do believe that if both Mayor Reed and Governor Nathan Deal could turn back the hands of time, this would have gone down differently. However, right now, the people want someone (ANYONE) to simply say, “My bad.”

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What the Lord’s Prayer Taught Me About Happiness

The Purpose of Prayer

The Lord’s Prayer is the one of the most commonly recited passages of the Bible and arguably the least practiced. I’ve played a lot of basketball in my lifetime. Every middle school, high school and college game was preceded by this prayer in the huddle. As well, it was a ritual before every contest that I coached during my ten-year career. In fact, millions of athletes on all levels murmur these words robotically like ABC’s:

Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name.Thy kingdom come.Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.

Matthew 6:9-13 KJV

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Album Review: Beyoncé

Beyoncé Holds Private Album Release Party at Dave & Buster's in Times Square

Beyoncé Holds Private Album Release Party at Dave & Buster’s in Times Square

Beyoncé dropped her 5th album over night last Friday, unbeknownst to anyone. She skipped the months of campaigning and marketing that usually precludes an official release date. In fact, the self-titled album shattered sales records on iTunes topping the 800,000 mark by Monday morning. The fact is, singles were not for individual sale. For any of the 14 tracks and 17 videos, consumers had no other alternative than to buy the entire album, priced at $15.99. Genius.

After succumbing to the Wal-Mart Black Friday Conspiracy a month ago, I decided to play the commercial guinea pig again, by downloading the self-titled “Beyoncé” from iTunes. As my laptop screen took me through verification prompts, repeatedly asking me, “Are you sure you want to buy this selection,” I thought to myself, please let this be good.

In short – Beyoncé brought it!

This album is for the deep thinker. There are no bubble gum tracks or bubbly tunes that a kindergartener could memorize after a play or two here. “Beyoncé” isn’t about selling popular music, it’s about expression. With this one, you’ll get to take a look into her mind, and it’s exhilarating!

For the first time, the 32 year-old shows us a clearer picture of who Beyoncé Knowles Carter really is (and who she isn’t), and as of December 2013, she’s officially an artist.  Continue reading